backyard fun

learning to swing on her belly...she loves it!

loves the tire swing!


hey, where did my big brother go?

my sweet girl...

love this boy to pieces!!

i heart faces (week 13 - dramatic B&W)

i love this shot of braden as he is on deck to bat. he looks so serious and nervous at the same time. i wish i knew what he was thinking as he is standing there. i will cherish this picture forever.

it will be so fun to look at all the other entries this week at iheartfaces. i love how black and white can totally tranform a picture.

spring fever

spring fever 3/20/2010

this winter has been terrible. full of rain, snow (we loved the snow), bitterly cold temperatures and did i mention rain. so when the sun came out and the temperature was 73...all we wanted to do was play outside. whenever i ask ansley if she wants to go outside, she starts clapping and gives me the biggest kiss. she absolutely loves it!! we had a great evening playing with the kids and got some good pictures. let spring begin!!

future MLB player!!

3/19/2010

happiest toddler on the block

LOOK WHO'S 18 MONTHS!!

i cannot believe my little girl is already a year and a half. time is flying by. she had her 18 month appointment this week and she is doing great. she is 33" (85%) and 22.5 lbs (35%). she is doing everything she should be doing at the age and more. she is such a sweet, lovable and very independent little girl. she was making everyone at the DR's office crack up. she was walking around the room with her diaper on blowing kisses and dancing. she loves people and loves to make everyone smile. she is already showing interest in potty training. she went to the big potty the other night with brit and was telling him she had to go pee pee by her actions, so he put her up there but she was scared of the "big" potty so he got her off. when he put her on the ground, she immediately started to pee...too funny. i also found her in the potty with her feet dangling out while i was putting some clothes in the washer. she looked so funny!

we love our little girl so much and love watching her grow and learn new things. i can't believe we will be planning her 2nd birthday soon.

a trip to the dentist is called for...

Lisa Leonard Giveaway

Check out this beautiful necklace {http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/blog/2010/03/16/marked-by-love-audreys-necklace/comment-page-28/#comment-46859eated) for mother's who have lost a baby. I signned up to win and you or someone you know can do the same. I would love to have one of these necklaces around my neck so I could always feel the boys close to my heart.

3/12/10, a day we will always celebrate

Today is a very hard day today. I continue to wonder what kind of birthday party the boys would have wanted...trucks, cars, firetruck, Mickey Mouse? What would their favorite color have been? Would they like their birthday cake or not, like their big brother? All of these questions come to my mind all the time. When I see a 2 year old little, I wonder if that is how big they would be or would they be really tall like Braden.

So often on these days, I wonder "why" again. Why was losing Caleb and Samuel part of God's plan for our family. How can something so painful be part of His perfect and good plan? I know we will probably never fully understand until we are in Heaven. But it doesn't keep that question from creeping back into my mind. I know they are having the best birthday party in Heaven. Braden was so excited last night, he said "Caleb and Samuel WILL be 2 years old tomorrow!!" He didn't say, they would have been 2. No, he said they will be 2 because they are full of life up with Jesus. They are not exposed to this evil world, they only see glory and feel no pain. Last night before bed, Ansley gave me 2 extra kisses and I truly believe they were from the boys, telling me they are OK.

On your 2nd birthday...

Dear Caleb and Samuel,

There are no words I could say in this letter that would be able to express what you mean to us.

From the day we found out we were expecting you boys, we knew that God had chosen you for our family. I remember when y'all started moving around, we invented stories about who you would be. Caleb, you were the trouble maker...moving and kicking all day long. And I loved every minute of it. Samuel, you were more laid back. You would only kick after meals and before bed. Braden talked about what he was going to teach you. From swimming to the best way to splash us and most of all how to tickle mommy. He wanted to be your big brother more than anything. And even though you all are in Heaven, I hope you can see how much he still cares for you. He often asks what you all might be doing at that given time. He loves you all so much and will be reunited with you one day.

God had something much bigger planned for your life than we could ever have imagined.

On March 7th, mommy had to go to the hospital because things just weren't right. I remember them telling us that everything should be OK and I would be in the hospital until you all were born. Even though the doctors kept reassuring us, my motherly instincts kept telling me something else. I said the hardest prayer I have ever said in the life the day before God took you to Heaven. I prayed that if you weren't meant to be on this earth with us, to take you sooner rather than later. I didn't want you all to suffer weeks in the NICU if God's plan all along was for you to be in Heaven. God answered my prayer shortly after.

Did you know that when you all were in my tummy, I talked to you all the time. You were my sons and I loved you just like I love your brother. We prayed for you all the time. Our prayers changed with each day.

I am thankful for the time daddy and I had with you before we let you go. Daddy was able to give you all a bath and wrap you up in soft blankets. I remember looking at each of you and seeing perfect little babies. I kept wondering why, why did God have a different plan for your lives. I question it often, but I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus. I loved holding both of you and being able to kiss you and say goodbye. You forever changed our lives and you will NEVER be forgotten.

As I am writing this, the rain is pounding on the windows. It is what many would call a very dark and ugly day, with no sign of sunshine. Because of the two of you, Caleb and Samuel, it is not that way to me anymore.

When I pick Braden up from school today, we are going to get a cake for you guys. Braden is excited to pick it out for you. We will celebrate your life in Heaven and rejoice in knowing you are dancing and singing with Jesus. We will be sending hugs and kissing your way.

My boys, there is so much more to say. I rest in knowing that you all already know it before it has left our lips. We love you both so very much.

Happy Birthday!!

Mommy